Sunday, February 23, 2014

UPDATE - February 23rd 2014

I'm not a famous blogger.  I know there are people who read this blog on a consistent basis though there aren't many.  My book reviews receive a few likes on tumblr, a reblog if I am lucky.  The only thing I have to show is the number of views my blog receives which lately has been a lot.  But I don't blog for the amount of views...obviously if I did I would have stopped blogging a long time ago.  It seems I just like to hear myself type and see words I have written officially posted somewhere for the world to hopefully notice and recognize.  For a long time, this blog was my creative outlet and my most important project.  But just as the seasons change, so do people and I have come to a conclusion that I feel I should post to my whom it may concern.
When I started this blog, it was the very beginning of 2012.  I was still in college and taking a course where we were required to keep up a blog on a regular basis.  It was also in early 2012 that I decided I wanted to participate in the 50 books of 2012 challenge, where you read at least 50 books in 2012.  I did this because in 2011 I realized I had only read 11 books, 7 of them being Harry Potter!  I knew it wasn't good that a person who loved to read and write as much as myself had only read 4 new books in a year.  In 2012 I had a lot more time on my hands to blog and spend time brainstorming about my blog.  A lot of that free time is no longer available to me and I have been forced to rethink my hobbies and tasks that seem important to me. 
I was nervous to start this blog.  I had never been a fan of writing book reviews but the task came natural to me.  I genuinely enjoyed working on this blog and felt that it was helping me grow as a reader, a writer, and a person.  I enjoyed the experience so much that when 2013 rolled around, I didn't want to stop.  I wanted to keep blogging!  But halfway through 2013, the blog slowly began to become more of a burden than a fun outlet.
Now in 2014, there are at least five books I read in 2013 that I have not yet reviewed.  Some I read as far back as September!  Talk about putting off a chore.  Sure I could very well give a brief summary of the books I read but could I write an educated and unique book review like I have come to expect of myself?  No.
There is another issue of the original thought I put into my reviews.  I don't always have a bunch of thoughts after I finish reading a book.  Sometimes, I enjoy a book but really can't put my foot on as to why nor can I add anything original to the conversation.  I then proceed to read other reviews that cloud my thoughts a bit because I no longer know if what I am writing is my own personal thoughts about the book or just agreeing with other reviews I have read.  And then there are other times when I have so much to say about a book that I write the review right away and am usually very proud of myself.  You can see the lack of quality in my reviews when they are very very short.  The reviews I have come to expect from myself are usually longer and well thought out. 
As I said, the blog has become a burden more than a fun outlet. 
I posted a blog earlier this year stating the changes that I planned on making to this blog.  I made the changes for a number of reasons.  The main reason was that I now find that I have a lot on my plate and knew I needed a change.  But now I am making more changes.  I will no longer be writing book reviews for every single book I read...only the ones I feel compelled to talk about.  Be my friend on GoodReads so we can recommend books to each other and see what the other is reading and rating!
I say I have a lot on my plate and so I figured I would share with you what is going on.  First, my writing.  I love reading but my goal has always been, ever since I was 9 years old, to write and publish a novel of my own and I have not had the time or discipline to come close to completely that goal.  I need time to work on that.  I am now apart of a book group with a few friends.  We are just finishing up with Harry Potter and I really want to put my all into outlining the books and make book group fun while also informative and it takes a good chunk of time to accomplish this.  Another project of mine is a podcast called Talk Magic to Me.  Some friends and I just started the podcast which will be a critical discussion podcast about the entertainment Disney puts out which I am super excited for but again, it takes up a huge amount of my time.  Between editing, getting our website together, watching the content we are talking about in the next episode, hours and hours will go by and to make this podcast professional, I am truly giving it my all.  And there is more!  I just got a new job!  At my previous job, I worked half days on Fridays which meant that I had four extra hours a week to get stuff done but now I don't have that luxury.  On the plus side, my new job is closer to home so I will save maybe an hour a week of free time that I didn't have before but other than that, the prospect of free time is grim.  Therefore I need to use my free time wisely.  Another thing, I'm trying to take things out of my life that I don't need so that I can focus more on my faith.  I've been trying to read my Bible more often and sit in silence and try not to think about all the things on my to do list (book reviews from months ago are always on the list and never get crossed off).  And finally, I can't go without spending time with my friends and family.  I won't go into details but these past few months have been really hard for me.  I've been going through a lot of personal struggle and loneliness.  Human connection is now more important than ever and I really need that at the end of the day.  Needless to say, blogging can no longer be a priority in my life.  It is something I want and have to let go of...not entirely but I need to quit acting like this blog is as fun as it used to be. 
I don't plan to stop reading, writing some book reviews, and posting Wasted Wednesday blogs.  If I have something to talk about that I am passionate about, I will post it on here. 
I have to do what is best for me at the end of the day and I know that this blog will not be around forever no matter how much I want it to be.  I need to move on and I am taking the first step in doing so.  I hope you will still stick with my blog and check out my new podcast, Talk Magic to Me!

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